Home
by MsBigBad
Summary: "I never told her how I felt about her. How I could stare at her for ages, fight with her forever, love her for eternity and it'd never be enough. But I was too late. I'd missed my chance. " Ron POV WARNING *Angst-fest*


**Home**

**By: MsBigBad**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own, nor am I affiliated with, Jo Rowling or the marvelous world or characters she created. I'm just borrowing!

**A/N:** This is a short little story I wrote back in 2007. Therefore it is post HBP and Pre DH! Which is kinda funny as some of the things in the 7th book happen in my story! Really angsty so be forewarned!

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><p>My eyes trace over cold stone, looking at it but not reading it. They don't need to. I've been in this exact spot a thousand times. I've spent whole days just staring, wondering how in the name of Merlin I came to be so alone in this vast and crowded world.<p>

I never thought that I would be the one to survive this war. I had always imagined myself the first casualty. I imagined myself diving in front of a bolt of green light for one of my friends. For I am no one important and never have been. Not brilliant like Hermione or brave like Harry, I am ordinary. I am expendable.

It all turned out rather differently than I'd imagined. There were no great battlefields, only a small muggle alley. There were not legions of death eaters fighting alongside their dark lord. Only three remained, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Peter Pettigrew. It was not snowing or raining. The weather was hot and sticky that night and the sky so clear you could see every star.

I was not the first to fall; it was Hermione. Her beautiful marred face connected with the pavement before I could even make a move to catch her. She was too far out of my reach, but then again she always had been.

Her lovely eyes were spread wide open. She was gone. Gone forever. I never told her how I felt about her. How I could stare at her for ages, fight with her forever, love her for eternity and it'd never be enough. But I was too late. I'd missed my chance. My life would never be the same again. I cradled her broken body to mine kissed her forehead and vowed to avenge her death.

I'd never had so much fire running through my veins. I took Pettigrew down in mere seconds. His screams for mercy resounded within my ears for years later. His was the only life I've ever so willingly taken.

The battle dragged on for a very short while longer then the best friend I have ever known fell and took Voldemort with him. In that moment and every one since then I have regretted ever being jealous of anything that he had. I know in my heart that Harry deserved so much more. He deserved **everything**. Everything that I had taken for granted my whole life.

Since infancy, I had been surrounded by hoards of people. I'd never had more than a minute alone that I could recall. I had never been truly alone, until that night. I lay there in the alley weak, weary and all alone. The silence only added to the gut wrenching pain, and the feeling that I would never again be whole.

My best friend and my love were gone…I had nothing left to hold on to. I could feel myself slowly being dragged away from reality. I crawled in between my two best friends, held their hands, and closed my eyes. I didn't expect to wake-up, and I didn't want to.

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><p>I awoke in St. Mungos three days later to the feel of my mother's soft hands caressing my cheek. I opened my eyes and all that remained of the Weasley clan stood before me. I asked them about Harry and Hermione though I knew that they had been lost long ago. As I looked around, I noticed the utter sadness on everyone's faces. I also noticed noticed that far less of us stood in that room than there had been before. I gathered the courage to ask my mother where everyone else was…but I already knew in my heart that they were gone as well. I didn't even try to hide the streams of salt that cascaded down my pale face. It hardly seemed worth the effort.<p>

My mum wiped silent tears from her own eyes, and I knew she was trying to be strong for the rest of us. Ginny was cradled in the arms of my brother George, she hadn't stopped crying since I'd mentioned Harry, and her sobs got louder at the mention of our family. George rubbed her back in circles and whispered to her that everything would be all right. Though nothing about this world I had woken into had seemed right at all. The only other person in the room shifted rather uncomfortably, wiped a tear from his proud face, and kissed us all good-bye. He lingered in the doorway for a moment and whispered the last two words I would ever hear him say. _I'm sorry._

No one's seen Percy since that night. Some say that he finished himself off. I don't believe it. He was always too much of a coward for suicide and a body was never recovered. I reckon he's done what he's good at, running away. I think he was so damn ashamed of how he treated us that he left Britain, maybe even the magical world. It doesn't really matter. Nothing does anymore.

The years have passed by agonizingly slow and brought more and more hardships along the way.

George never did have the spirit he'd once had when Fred was alive. He didn't smile as widely or as often. He didn't have that mischievous glint that used to sparkle in his eyes. He sold _Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes_ and bought a flat in Hogsmeade. He said he couldn't bear to live at the burrow…not when it was so empty. He grew into a deep depression and though we all tried to help him, it wasn't enough. We could never replace Fred. Ginny came around to his flat one morning to bring him some leftovers from the burrow only to find it far too quiet even for George. As she entered his bedroom she learned why it was so quiet. His body dangled from the rafters. On the bed was lain an old joke store box full of pictures. Two smiling faces started back at her from inside. They were finally together again.

Mum tried to move on but her heart wouldn't allow it. She remained at the burrow with Ginny and I until the day she died. She cooked, cleaned and cared for a family that for the most part did not exist. Many thought she had gone mad. We were told we should just admit her to St. Mungo's and get on with our lives. When it came down to it though, we couldn't. We gave her some semblance of meaning and she did the same for us. She was our Mum, she'd always taken care of us, sacrificed for were we to deny her?

Gin remained single until she reached the age of 29 and a desperate Neville Longbottom came to our door. He too had suffered a great deal of loss in his short life and somehow that seemed to connect him to my baby sister. Four years later I gained a brother-in-law. A year after that a nephew. Ginny loved Neville, but Harry would always be the one to stay in he heart. We used to sneak out back an play a game of Quidditch om his Birthday every year. We'd sit in the grass afterwards and tell stories to each other, reminiscing, remembering, and above all honoring my fallen friend.

I however couldn't move on as easily. I'd never had a real relationship with anyone and I never shall. That fate was meant for only one. My chance for a married life with a family of my own died the night I held Hermione's limp body to my chest. I've dated and I've shagged, but I'll never marry and I'll never make love. Several relatives have tried to fix me up with so and so she's a really nice witch blah blah blah. The only one who really understood was Ginny. She never pressured me because she knew exactly how I felt. She also knew that on Hermione's birthday she should just leave me day was reserved for silence and no trip to the library would rouse my spirits, nor make me want to tell stories about the woman I had lost.

As I think back on it, that wasn't really fair to my sister. She had lost her best friend and her lover on that day, just as I had. She should have been allowed to remember Hermione as we did Harry every year.

It's too late to make amends. Everyone I've fought for, everyone who has meant anything to me I have lost.

I stare down at the freshly tilled dirt. Three new places…three more hardships. I buried my sister and her family here today. My nephew, Arthur, was only four years old.

Within moments I will be where I belong and my name will be written here beside those of my loved ones. I am not afraid. I've actually been craving death for ages. It has surrounded my life for the last few decades and yet it has never reached out to touch me. There is nothing to weep for or to miss. I won't be leaving anything behind. I am all that's left. I'll be coming home. Finally I'll be home.

Any minute now I will be sitting at the kitchen table of the Burrow. Dad will be sitting across from me stuffing pancakes into his mouth while fiddling with some muggle contraption. My mother will make me breakfast. It'll taste so good that I'll ask for seconds. My sister will be sitting beside me laughing at dad. Fred and George will apparate from the top of the stairs down to the kitchen and Charlie and I will tease them for it. Bill will burst through the kitchen doors to tell us that Harry and Hermione have arrived. I'll hug my best mate, really hug him. He'll go over to my sister and kiss her and I won't mind. I'll be proud. Hermione's smile will paralyze me, but her hug will revive me again. I'll smile like the goofy git I once was and I'll kiss her full on the mouth. I'll tell her that she's the only one. That I want to marry her and have loads of bushy, ginger-haired kids with her. She'll blush and I'll fall in love with her all over again. She'll look down at the floor and then up at me and I'll be so nervous. She'll say yes. She'll say of course and I love you. I love you Ronald Weasley. Any minute now…

"Good morning mum…dad."

"Good Morning dear! Do you want eggs this morning or would you rather have pancakes like your father. Ginny! Please dear, chew with your mouth closed!"

"Eggs will be fine mum.." I sigh. It's good to be home.

**- END** -

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><p><strong>AN:** I know a lot of you wanna know what happened to Ginny and Neville, and I really don't know what to say other than it was an accident. Imagine it however you like. Please keep in mind that I wrote this story years ago when you click the review button thanks!


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